Come to find out a play titled "Almost, Maine" just opened in Boston.

The reviews indicate that it is composed of "linked playlets set in a fictititous remote northern Maine town," and written because the author "wanted to see a play about smart people that wasn't set in a city."

The author, John Cariani, grew up in Presque Isle. (An aside: Then why isn't his name French?)

The show debuted at the Portland Stage Company in 2004 but is back for another attempt at generating some noise, and perhaps making it to Broadway.

Your Scribe hasn't seen the show.

But as I think of the people that I run into in my sector of cabin country, I wonder if I haven't encountered a half-dozen characters in search of a play.

My cast and their motives:

Bob The Reluctant Woodsman - Likeable, talkative character - trained as a woodsman, skilled as a procrastinator - is reluctant to re-enter the forest because of "a dark secret." So he does a lot of fishing for white perch, and goes to every funeral in town.

Gary The Energetic Logger - This driven character is a maniac in the woods, clearing forests faster than spruce-budworm disease. What horrible event from his past is causing him to take down trees with the vengeance of a WWF wrestler? And will the DEP find out he's clearcut an area the size of Nebraska?

Clare The Mysterious Publisher - A new neighbor in the Big House on the Hill raises horses, and publishes equine magazines from her home office. She is beautiful, but haughty; driven, but she doesn't like to muck out her stalls. And her father - he sells Alaskan chainsaw systems. What's that about?

Burt the Builder - He was a poor handyman when he arrived in town, and now is a prosperous "builder" who operates a pickup with six seats, and a live-minnow business that provides a prestigious second income. He is known to loiter in the drawing rooms of desperate cabinwives longing for new piping for their smoldering stoves . . .

Theresa the Tour Guide - Ever since this bubbly, bouncy, bodacious brunette started her fishing guide business, the valley has been in turmoil. The guides say she is stealing customers, and in a connected move, their wives are seeking legislation to ban tank tops in vessels longer than 10 feet. The river is cold, but emotions burn like dried hardwood . . .

There. You see I've got some characters. Anybody care to supply a story line?

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