Uh oh. This is not good.

Eastern Mountain Sports is moving their South Portland store to a location right across the street from where I work, on Marginal Way in Portland. In fact, I need only lean my chair back slightly and, yep, there it is. In big green letters. Just a stone's throw away.

Isn't there some kind of law that prevents this kind of thing? I mean, after all, I'm a certifiably addicted gear head, and here they've gone and located an outdoor store within a 1,000 feet of me! What will happen to me now? I'm doomed.

Oh yes, I'll probably avoid it for awhile. But then, one day I'll stop in "just to look around." I'll pick up some small item, batteries for my headlamp maybe. Then I'll be back for a stuffbag or two. Then a new ice ax. Then a new, lightweight tent that I just have to have. Then, then... my lunch hour will be over. For that day.

Oh, the humanity...

But it gets worse.

In just a few short months, Bleacher's Restaurant & Pub, my favorite watering hole for post-adventure recreation (hell, for any damn reason at all really), is also moving within sight of my office.

Uh oh. This is really not good.