You gotta love the criminal mind. Or lack thereof.

A Pittston man made his getaway from the scene of a crime in a...

... canoe!

[Excuse me while I pee my pants laughing]

Wow. That must have been some chase. Paddling down the Kennebec at a couple of miles an hour.

Can you just picture it?

Oh no, they're catching up. Wish I had a better J-stroke. Damn these Old Towns are slow. Shoulda got a Lincoln!

And you thought a white Bronco going 20 miles an hour on an L.A. freeway was boring!

Anyway, the guy finally smartened up a little, ditched the canoe, and tried to steal a motor boat.

Nice try Einstein.

But the boat wouldn't start, and with the cops in hot pursuit, he did the next best thing.

He dove in the water and swam away!

[I'm just dying here]

But the police had a boat with a motor that actually worked, caught up to him, and made the arrest in mid-stream.

It could only happen here...