August 16, 2006
Hybrid mutant of something?
Some stories are just impossible to pass up.
So it was with the "hybrid mutant of something" which caught my news eye this morning.
"It was evil, evil looking. And it had a horrible stench I will never forget," said Michelle OŽDonnell of Turner, describing the horrible creature she'd seen in her yard a week ago.
The mysterious beast was found dead last weekend, apparently hit by a passing car.
And now folks in the Turner area are wondering whether this thing is the same thing that's been wandering around the local woods mauling dogs and cats and scaring the bejeezus out of people for more than a decade.
It's a tale that has grown to legendary proportions. But alas, this one may now be over.
For friends, I'm sorry to say, I believe I know the answer to this mystery.
The bushy tail, short snout, short ears and curled fangs hanging over its lips are an almost certain giveaway.
Seems to me that your shadowy creature of horror may be none other than...
The Beer Troll.
Yes, I fear.
The Beer Troll has met its demise.
Likely hit by that unsuspecting car on Route 4 after pilfering a six-pack of beer and a can of beans (hence the terrible odor) from a convenience store along the highway.
Nasty teeth and wild eyes displayed to a horrified counter clerk, it must have run off into the night. And was fatally nicked while wobbling unsteadily back to its lair to consume its ill-gotten brew.
Looks like the Beer Troll will terrorize beer stores and patrons no more. And the woods of Androscoggin County will be safe once again!
Looks like Dick Cheney
Posted by
Mikey FAugust 17, 2006 12:01 AM
It's an interesting story.
Too bad this writer is a sarcastic moron.
Idiot.
Posted by
RolfAugust 17, 2006 02:01 PM
Carey, I'm almost positive your correct. We've seen many of these Beer Trolls around the Kansas area also and they all have something in common: nasty teeth and wild eyes. The only thing they don't have in common is ours are 2-legged.
P.S. Our Kansas Beer Trolls' index finger is much longer than the others and you can always tell they're around before you see them. If you're really quiet when you're in the woods you can hear them barking "Pull My Finger"!
Posted by
Linda CAugust 17, 2006 02:16 PM
Hey Rolfie: Back at you my boy!
Posted by
CareyAugust 17, 2006 02:23 PM
Awesome Linda, thanks! Wonder what would happen if a Maine Beer Troll and a Kansas Beer Troll got together???
Posted by
CareyAugust 17, 2006 02:28 PM
Right on Rolf!!
Posted by
ArmstrongAugust 17, 2006 03:56 PM
See now, what you got there is a hybrid wombat-chupacabra...
I think it is a half human half rodent half dog experimental military pig man....
With 9 azzes...
That thing is ugly that is for sure
Haha...
Yup...
Rolf has no sense of humor and Linda C. Rocks!
Presented by Sametime
Posted by Bill Bonneau
August 17, 2006 07:46 PM
I think it is a wpi wedge rat. Were there any foam swords or Magic the Gathering cards nearby?
Posted by PETE TESSIER
August 17, 2006 07:51 PM
Not sure what would happen Carey. Was out on the grizzly riding around on my property last night and the Trolls were pretty quiet. However, since it's Friday night now, I'll be cautious and approach one with a Corona.
I'll have to pack my Colt .44 Mag. just in case of heavy confrontation since they usually prefer Schmidt or Milwaukee Best.
Mixing a Maine Troll with a Kansas Troll? Hmmmm.....would we be able to understand their sounds? Although, the ones I've seen, as I've said, are 2 legged, I hear there are hybrid 3-legged ones who, if you have a set of binoculars, you would be able to see them attempt to pole vault alot.
Linda C.
Posted by
Linda C.August 18, 2006 07:13 PM
Pete, from what I've read about the wedge rats I don't think that's what it was.
Normally wedge rats' cosperosity segiates with their utus cutus and I didn't see that in the photo.
Posted by
Linda C.August 19, 2006 12:33 AM
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