I bought some new gear the other day. At Marden's, no less. Baaah-gan hunting at Maaah-den's I was.

My good friend John is a rather loyal Marden's disciple and browses the aisles religiously in search of cheap outdoor gear. And quite often he scores.

Me, I usually just let my tongue drop to the floor when he tells me of the latest deal on this and that for next to nothing.

"You shoulda seen the pile of them widgets!" he'll say. "Just what I was looking for. Bought 20 of 'em for 99 cents each! Wicked good deal. You shoulda been there."

Sigh.

"Course they're probably mostly gone now. Might be one or two if you dig around real hard there in Aisle 17, just up from the odd-sized lumber and fire-sale housewares."

And so it goes.

Do I run right up there and check it out? No. Do I make even a modest attempt to check in there on a halfway regular basis? Nada.

So... you might imagine my surprise when, driving the trusty Honda up outer Brighton Avenue, that the damn car veered right into the Marden's parking lot. Yep, I was gonna bargain shop, dammit, like it or not. Get me some cheap outdoor goods, mistah man.

And so I did.

But, as with so many times in life, I came away with an item of gear that I had no plans on buying when I went in: A new golf bag.

My new golf bag from Marden's in Portland.
Carey Kish photo

Whoa, yes, I understand fully that some of you hardcore outdoorsy types don't for a stinkin' minute consider golf an outdoor sport.

Maybe. Maybe not. We can debate that over a couple cold ones. Nonetheless, I've been playing golf for 40 years. And guess what?

I still suck.

Yes, I do. Break 100 maybe twice a summer. Might even appear some kinda decent. Rest of the time is just plain awful, wacking away with them clubs, following that ball around hither and yon.

Funny thing is, I just love it. Always have. I do question occasionally (well, most of the time) when I'm out on the course and my game is sucking s__t, I think to me-self, "Why in God's name am I not out hiking or paddling or biking or something even mildly productive?"

Dunno.

Anyway, back to Marden's and the new golf bag.

There was a whole slew of them nearly blocking the front entrance. Ranged in price from $9.99 to $29.99 to $39.99.

Cheap is fine, but the $10 bag probably was going to come unstitched before I got it out the car.

So I gots to looking seriously at the $30 and $40 bags. Mighty nice replacement for that shoulder-killer of a Ping bag I've been carting around for 20 years.

Both bags looked about the same, so I took to looking at the tags more closely to compare features (just like I was picking out a good backpack, it was a thing to watch I swear!).

If the bags had the same features I'd no doubt opt for the cheaper one.

But my detailed examination revealed a hidden feature of the $40 bag that sealed the deal: An insulated beverage pocket! Accessible from the outside and able to hold and cool several "beverages" at once.

The primary selling feature? An insulated beverage pocket! Can you imagine?!
Carey Kish photo

Now that's a handy, dandy feature I could certainly see coming in useful out there in the hot sun. I mean, with the ability to quickly hydrate like that I might even shave a few strokes off my game!

Ching, ching, and... Sold!

And this Saturday I'll be on the links of the Lucerne Country Club with my buds and the new bag, playing horrible, wondering why I'm not out hiking, and... having one helluva good time.

Fore!!!

You play golf? Should I play golf??

You shop at Marden's? Should I??