For chrissakes, seems it's not safe to pee anywhere anymore.

First we had the now infamous 'pooper peeker' settled in beneath a New Hampshire rest stop outhouse, spying on innocent, unsuspecting butt cheeks.

And now we get the 'bathroom cam' and another sicko.

Jeez Louise.

What the hell is up with these people?

I'm down with the comments of "weatherfreak" of Great Pond... I think from now on I'm going to pee only in the woods!!!

TGIF. Have a good weekend all.

And please do watch where you pee! Someone could be watching you!!

Hey all, it's Friday. Yeah.

A mere eight hours of pseudo-work and it's off to the hills for some hiking.

I can make it.

But sometimes people can't make it. In time, that is.

Eh, you say?

Well, go to the Poop Report and you'll understand. And get a few good laughs to start off your weekend.

Take the story of a father and son on a fishing trip. The son suddenly has to "go" really bad, but steadfastly refuses to do it in the woods. So the dad interrupts the fishing and rushes the kid to the closet port-a-john. Unfortunately the ending is quite messy.

Anyway, that's the poop for now. Laughter cures all, doesn't it?! Have a great weekend!

From year to year you just never know what's going to appear in your Christmas stocking, now do you?

For me, it's been anything from toothpaste, dental floss and deodorant to M&Ms, Planters mixed nuts and Hershey Kisses.

Ah, but this year, well, this year was special.

I got an ornament. Not just any ornament, mind you.

An outhouse ornament!

It's the perfect gift for the outdoors person in your life who's really on the move, that's for sure. A symbol of the finer things in life. The important things. Back to Nature like.

So, so thoughtful. Thank you!

Of course, since I rarely put up a tree, I've got the thing setting on the window sill. Come to think of it, I may re-gift my little ornament and give it to the pooper-peeker. I'll bet he'd appreciate it!

Digging a little deeper in my stocking I found another prize winner:

Spam!

How did you guess? What's an outdoorsy guy without his Spam?! Fry it, dice it, hash it, sprinkle it on your ice cream... Oh Spam, wonderful Spam.

What did you get in your stocking this holiday season?

Well, the pooper-peeker has gotten his due.

Enough humiliation to last a lifetime I'd say.

The judge in the case fined the man and ordered him to pay restitution, but spared him from jail time, provided he keeps himself clean (no pun intended) for the next two years.

Said the judge: "This gentleman has been subject to a great deal of media scrutiny and drawn to himself, should I say, notoriety. And a healthy share of bathroom humor, if you will. This is a person who deserves some compassion"

Stay outta them hip waders and you'll do just fine there Cappy.

And for the rest of us, we can now squat in comfort knowing that justice has been served.

And if you'd like to continue the laughs that this story has generated (like I do), here's a few places you should check out...

Take the Outhouse of America Tour and get all the latest photos of outhouses, outhouse trivia, folklore and outhouse facts.

But some nice outhouse posters and artwork for your friends and family for the holidays.

Catch up on outhouses in the news.

Buy a book on outhouses.

Discover why Maine's outhouses are disappearing.

And finally...

Some mighty good bathroom humor!

Have fun!

Privies.

With all this poop talk going on, my friend Dick reminded me today of the condition we found his privy in after a ski into his remote cabin on Chesuncook Lake on a cold February weekend last winter.

A balsam fir tree had decided to give up the ghost and topple over directly onto it, making for the only air-conditioned privy for miles around. Something that wasn't quite called for when it's 20 below outside and blowing a gale across the lake.

So, throughout our four day stay, suffice it to say that our trips "out back" were exhilarating, but brief. Business was business. Serious business.

And fortunately, I'd like to add, we never did find anybody peering up from underneath the privy seat (probably too cold to hang out under there in uninsulated hip waders).

Whew!

Dick rectified the privy's air conditioning problem over the summer, so we should be good to go for the next winter trip. It'll be so comfy in there now I might even bring a book out there with me...

Open for business!

All photos courtesy of Dick Rose.

I don't know about you, but ever since the pooper peeker incident along the Kancamangus Highway in NH last summer, I haven't been able to comfortably rest my rosy cheeks on an outhouse seat.

This has caused considerable stress in what would normally be a very relieving experience. It just doesn't seem fair.

Apparently the pooper peeker guy is back in the news this morning, although the news story online has so far stealthily eluded me, much as the outhouse voyeur did, until he was caught underneath a WMNF roadside toilet "looking for his lost wedding ring" last summer.

I guess his trial starts today, so we'll see how he tries to slime his way out of this one...

Seems every day in this good life you can find something to laugh about.

I just love that!

Leave all the the serious stuff for somebody else. I just want to laugh and have fun. You too I'll bet.

Anyway, reader Wilbo suggested that I submit my blog entry on caterpillar crap from the other day to the Poop Report.

Poop Report?

Now there's something I hadn't heard of before.

So I went there and split a gut. Likely you will too. It's good for a few Friday yucks.

Stories about poop. Intellectual crap. Fun with feces.

It's all there.

Enjoy!

It was literally raining insect poop along much of the Grafton Loop Trail this weekend.

Honest!

Hiking up Puzzle Mountain on Saturday I stopped to rest. And that's when I first heard it.

The sound of rain.

But it couldn't be because the sun was out and the sky was bright blue.

I waited, listened some more, looked up, and realized that what I was hearing were insects eating away the leaves of the hardwood trees and dropping poop all over the place, and occasionally dropping themselves onto the forest floor.

I couldn't identify the beasty little critters who were making all the racket, but I finally did get a photo of one.

The Saddled Prominent caterpillar caught on a blue blaze along the Grafton Loop Trail.

Charlene Donahue, an entomologist with the Maine Forest Service, knew what it was right away when I called her yesterday: The Saddled Prominent.

According to Donahue, the Saddled Prominent is native to Maine and feeds on hardwood leaves, primarily beech, maple and oak. There's a surge in population every 8 years or so affecting mostly western Maine.

She couldn't say exactly what caused the periodic uptick in numbers, but figured weather might be a factor. The current outbreak is considered mild and should last another season or so before dying out again.

So the next time you hear rain in the woods and the sun is out, it might just be the Saddled Prominent. Who knew?

Now I'm gonna go clean the caterpillar crap off my backpack, thank you very much.

I was just looking for my lost ring.

Right.

I believe that.

You know, I was up in Baxter Park this past weekend, and, it being nature's way and all, made frequent use of the pit toilet at the campground.

After this story, you might think that we'd all be a bit leery about lifting the lid and finding a face down there.

But not me.

I figured, what the hell, after all the chili and beer I just consumed, if you're down there dude, God help you!

You remember the outhouse stalker along the Kanc Highway in the White Mountain National Forest from last week, don't you?

He's the fellow who "was found June 26 in the waste tank of a pit toilet on U.S. Forest Service property in Albany, N.H., after a 14-year-old girl heard a noise in the toilet and saw a face looking up at her".

Well, apparently he's in even bigger trouble for violating his parole, on top of the other charges he faces for the pooper-peeking incident.

I'd say you're gonna be up to your knees in doo-doo for this one, pal.

Oh wait... you've already been there!

Taking a leisurely pee along New Hampshire's scenic Kancamangus Highway in the White Mountain National Forest will never be the same.

Not after local police pulled a Gardiner, Maine man--clad in hip waders--out from beneath an outhouse after he was caught spying up at a woman who had sat down on the hopper to do her business.

Just imagine her surprise (and fright)!

Sicko.

The man had to be hosed off and decomtaminated before he could be hauled off to jail.

O-K.

So I've just got to ask: Dude, what were you thinking? And by the way, how the hell did you get in there?

You're lucky it wasn't me above you after a healthy meal of bean burritos, that's all I can say.

If you take a walk along the beautiful Kennebec River Rail Trail these days, you'd better look down, as well around, as you go. Or you might be in for a surprise, or two, or three.

Dog poops!

Apparently dog owners and their faithful pets are being less than diligent about cleaning up after themselves along the trail. And that has created quite a doggie-poop minefield through which trail users must navigate or else suffer the smelly consequences on their shoes.

No need of that.

Solution?

Well, common sense and a little courtesy would help. But I know that's often in short supply.

Dog owners: let's try this one. Let's say that maybe every darn one of us has to stop into Hannaford's or Shaw's or somewhere to buy groceries on say, a weekly basis. And that when we emerge from the store, we probably have in our hands or cart quite a few little plastic grocery bags. Useful bags. Now let's say that over the course of time you find that these bags accumulate to overflowing in your pantry and you just can't figure what to do with all of them.

Ahah!

Because you have hundreds of these bags, you discover that by taking one or two with you each time you walk your pet along the Kennebec River Rail Trail, you can easily and quite sanitarily clean up after Rover has done his or her business. You then put said used bag into your pocket and saunter on.

Problem solved.

Oh yeah, then there's the other problem along the trail: vandalism.

I have a super-low tolerance for vandals, those cretins who defile and destroy public and private property at a whim for no damn good reason, other than they have a slow leakage of brain fluid from the back of their cranial vault.

Heavy foot and bike traffic along the trail, any trail, usually helps to minimize vandalism. But it seems they always find a time and a place to do their dirty deeds.

I can't say here what I'd like to see done to any vandals that get caught. Unfortunately, most don't, but occasionally...